The illustrious reign of a lesbian gone mad has finally ended as Rosie O’Donnell announced her departure from “The View” today. Much to everyone’s dismay, she is going to be back intermittently for guest spots. Rosie led today’s show with,

“Breaking news! I’ve decided we couldn’t come to terms with my deal, so next year I’m not going to be on ‘The View’.” Rosie explained that she wanted a one-year deal, while ABC wanted three years. She insisted that she wasn’t fired by ABC or Barbara Walters — “They’re not kicking me out!” she said.

Uh huh. They kicked her out. Between embarrassing herself on television and embarrassing herself in real life, “The View” had to maintain an aura of dignity, whatever that means. I just like to use big words to make myself sound smart. “Aura of dignity” means Rosie left because “The View” was interfering with her hourly snack time, right?