The Lauren Conrad sex tape

The main girl on “The Hills” Lauren Conrad, whose name has been affectionately dumbed down to a more memorable “LC”, tried unsuccessfully to break into ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler’s house in an attempt to retrieve a sex tape the two made. Earlier, Lauren demanded the tape, which she got, but that sly dog Jason made a copy. Now he’s trying to sell it before he goes to jail and if no one wants it, then on to the internet it goes.

“Jason is trying to sell the video before he goes to jail. LC will lose her mind when she finds out! Lauren tried to break into Jason’s apartment to get the tape, she was practically stalking him and calling non-stop until he finally agreed to give her the video.”

People can be such brutes. My sex tape was leaked onto the internet once. I was not a happy camper. The judge told me I couldn’t do anything since it wasn’t really considered sex. Well, maybe some people have different definitions of the word. You ever think about that Judge Fancypants? Sex isn’t always about a penis and a vagina or mouth. Sometimes it’s about sobbing naked in a circle of stuffed animals outfitted with Jessica Alba masks while Kelly Clarkson plays in the background.

Extra

• Laurent Conrad: There’s no sex tape! [Us Weekly]