ESC

The Reaping is bad

“The Reaping” stumbles its way into theaters today and has gotten no love. Hilary Swank stars in this thriller condemned with the tagline, “What Hath God Wrought?” EW gives it a D+ and lends some insight as to why.

Having seen the error of her ways (science = bad!), our heroine finds the reverence to battle frogs, dead cows, locusts, and — just to hedge the movie’s bets — a spooky blond girl who could be Satan’s messenger.

Not only that, “The Reaping” is sitting pretty at %06 on the Tomato meter. It makes you think. Hilary might as well have been holding a flaming bag of dog poo instead of an Oscar that fateful night. At least she would have been remembered as “that girl with a bag of hot poo” instead of “that girl who strapped a dildo to herself even though they could have just filmed her real penis, but they didn’t because that would have made the film too pornoish and if I wanted to watch a porno, I wouldn’t be watching one with a horse in it.” Here’s some stills from the movie.

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