Willa Ford

Willa Ford has signed on to play Anna Nicole Smith in an indie biopic. The film will depict her life from 17 to when she died at 39. It will include her life as a Playboy centerfold, a Guess model, a wife to J. Howard Marshall II to when her son died and eventually to when she died 5 months after giving birth to Dannielynn. Ford was a dancer on “Dancing With The Stars” and used to date UFC light heavyweight champ Chuck Lidell.

This dumbass will forever haunt us. I’ll be 90-years-old and the news will be talking about how they resurrected Anna Nicole Smith and now she’s on a rampage trying to rape every guy within a 5 ft. radius. The only way to stop her is to push enough methadone and shrooms down her throat to immobilize her. I’ll be shaking my fist at the plasma tv and be yelling, “A 2×4. Just hit her in the head with a 2×4 you nincompoops!” With any luck I’ll be wallowing in my own waste when my colostomy bag explodes in the excitement. Old age sounds fun.