Calum Best snorts lines off a stripper

Lindsay Lohan’s ex, Calum Best, was “caught” on video tape doing lines and in a threesome with two hookers. The Sun says,

Sex toys and a cat-o’-nine-tails whip were used as he:

• SNORTED lines of cocaine off a glass table while the naked vice girls looked on.
• LICKED the Class A drug off one hooker’s body and let both women pleasure him at once — before romping with each in turn.
• SHOUTED at one of them to “take a f*****g line” as drugs were laid out.

Whatever. This isn’t a big deal. A regular Tuesday night for me. Except, replace lines of coke with lines of baking soda and replace hookers with pictures of hookers. I also cry into my pillow afterwards. But it’s not that weird. Everybody does the baking soda thing at least once in their lives, right? Hello?