Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have broken up. Perhaps for good, but maybe not says People. Huh?

“They have broken up,” says the source. “But they have broken up and gotten back together at least ten times before. They talk to each other at least six times a day. I don’t know if this breakup is permanent, but for right now they are broken up.”

These sources are useless. They don’t know anything. I might as well ask Jessica Simpson myself.

Me: Jessica. Hey, Jessica. Over here. People want to know about you and John.
Jessica: Bubblegum is chewy.
Me: Oh. I forgot. You’re an idiot.