Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer recently broke up sort of. Apparently they may still be together. John Mayer was spotted leaving Jessica’s hotel room at the Soho Grand yesterday sporting a smile.

“She still loves him, but he’s not stable,” the friend said. “He’s scared of commitment. He breaks up with her and then regrets it and then begs her to get back together.”

Not stable? Uh oh. I’ve heard that before and it’s not good. You throw a plate at a waiter’s head one time and you’re branded unstable. Sure, it turned out to be a 6-year-old and not my waiter, but maybe she shouldn’t have been wandering around my table so arrogantly. Now if you’ll excuse me, a kid is smiling at me outside my window. Where’s my bat? Oh, don’t worry. It’s a whiffle ball bat.

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