Katie Holmes

An 18-year-old blond girl from the Fashion Institute of Design in Orange County claims to be a virgin and wants to have her first sexual encounter filmed for a porno. She has changed her name to Katee Holmes as an ode to Katie Holmes who has always played the innocent girl in movies. The budding porn star says,

“I know it’s pretty extreme to lose my virginity on camera, but I like the fulfillment and excitement I get from watching porn, so I figured [a movie] was the best place for me to lose it,” the not-that-innocent Katee said. “How many people wished they could relive their first experience, if not to remember it but to learn from it, right?”

To answer that: probably not a lot. The inability to unclasp a bra. The fumbling around in the dark. The profuse apologies. The crying. More crying. Even more crying. Why would I want to relive a Friday night?

The Cruise camp isn’t happy and are weighing their options.