Katie Holmes

InStyle says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are moving into a $35 million Beverly Hills estate complete with a nursery for another child.

“He told her how much he loves their little girl [Suri] and how he wants to have another baby when Katie’s ready,” a “friend of the couple” told the mag, adding, “She told him she’s ready.”

That’s gonna be tough. Tom Cruise is still traumatized from the first time he penetrated a vagina. He wakes up in a cold sweat every morning and has to have Katie slap him across the face a couple of times with a dildo. But not with the stiff ones, they leave marks. The jelly ones work better.