Lauren Hastings

Yesterday, the DA rejected a grand theft criminal complaint against Lindsay Lohan. The complaint was filed by 22-year-old model Lauren Hastings who was out of town and let a friend stay in her apartment. The friend invited Lindsay Lohan over for a party and supposedly, Lohan stole $5,000 worth of stuff from Lauren’s closet. Lauren had several witnesses who claim to have seen Lindsay stuffing clothes into a clear plastic bag and handing it to her driver. The DA said the photographic evidence handed to them didn’t add up explaining they didn’t depict the same clothes.

Later on, Lauren Hastings talked to Buzznet and explained her side of the story basically saying Lindsay stole her clothes because she delights in seeing how far she can go without being caught. Here’s the video of it. It’s long and kind of boring, but whatever.

Lauren ends the interview with a poetry reading of one of Nicole Richie’s text messages (transcript below) which is actually pretty funny considering it came from Skeletor.

Are you okay?? I know you have nothing, but Jesus fucking Christ!! Are you so desperate for new clothes you’re willing to file a police report to get some? I’ll go to good will for you and pick out a nice new pair of pants for you to wear and split open because you’re getting so fucking huge. If you’re going to do drugs, AT LEAST have something to show for it!! Loose some damn pounds and get a life. You’re fucking delusional, and pathetic, and embarrasing. Next time you write Lindsay, you’ll be dealing with the wrath of me. Concider this a warning.
Nicole Richie.
PS. BLOW A HORN

And after typing that, Nicole laughed so hard she broke a couple of ribs. Anyway, I’m not sure who to believe and I’m not sure I care either, but I’m leaning towards the prettier one. Pretty people never lie. I heard it on the Discovery Channel.