Paris might work on a chain gang

Due to the overcrowded LA jails, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, “America’s Toughest Sheriff”, has graciously offered to house Paris Hilton at Tent City in Arizona. If LA takes him up on the offer, Paris may be forced to work on the world’s only all-female chain gang run by yours truly, Joe Arpaio, while living in a military tent adjacent to the real jail.

Female inmates who are put on the chain gang work outside seven hours a day from early morning, six days a week in the desert surrounds.

The inmates wear traditional black-and-white striped uniforms and perform such tasks as creating fire breaks, removing trash, and even burial duty for vagrants.

Paris can’t make herself a grilled cheese sandwich without asking her assistant to put the cheese on the bread and grill it. The most work she does in a day is wipe her ass. What’s going to happen when she has to work seven hours a day, six days a week burying vagrants in the desert? She probably won’t even be able to cry. Paris will stand there, lip quivering while the Sheriff screams in her ear to move her skinny ass and start dragging that homeless guy out of the box. Does Sheriff Arpaio use a whip? Please god, tell me he uses a whip.