Justin Timberlake

Many have assumed Justin Timberlake was dating Jessica Biel based on this picture, but he’s kind of not. Speaking with the Daily Mirror, Justin described Jessica Biel as just a friend and only let her go on tour with him because she wanted to.

“She truly insisted that she came with me on tour. I don’t know how to say no to a pretty face. But it wasn’t really a good idea. This time I’m putting the machine before everything else. Jessica met up with me in Manchester, but for Paris I told her categorically no.

“This tour is very important for me. I’m doing it really seriously so there’s no question of playing sweethearts.”

And if you haven’t guessed, he’s pretty full of himself too. Given the chance to talk about his looks, Justin says,

“I’m well proportioned and nothing offends me when I look in the mirror. I defy a girl not to fall for me if I’m on a surfboard or snowboarding. It’s my secret weapon if a girl resists me.”

The only reason people stare at him surfing is because they hope he falls and cracks his head on some rocks. And hopefully when he starts bleeding, a great white will smell it and take a chunk out of his thigh. The lifeguard won’t be able to save him because he’ll be too busy rolling on the sand laughing. The dude is a dork.