Nicole Richie

According to Life and Style, Nicole Richie recently underwent blood and urine tests which have confirmed she is pregnant. Nicole’s rep has not responded to inquiries, but a source for Life and Style says, “Nicole’s determined to get healthy for her own sake and the baby’s.”

I’m already filing this in the no f’ing way section. This fug monster weighs less than 100 pounds and she probably doesn’t even ovulate anymore. Even if she was pregnant, there’s no way a baby could survive in her and if it could, when she gives birth, at least one of the nurses will choke on her spit and do the cross motion on her chest while another opens the lid to the bio-medical waste receptacle. Baby? What baby?

Note: I imagine it looking like the baby from Eraserhead or this. Not sure if it’s NSFW or not, but it’s really old and really creepy. I’m sure 99% of you guys have seen it by now.

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