Paris might be force fed

Paris was getting boring, so here are her parents

I thought I’d complete the unholy four this morning with a story about Paris Hilton. Doctors were concerned Paris looked weak and lethargic citing that she lost 5 lbs. in a week and is now down to 100 lbs. Worried that a rich white girl would die in their jail, they threatened to stick an IV with food in her unless she started eating. The Sun reports,

“Staff became worried as she seems very thin with her bones poking out. She was also very weak and lethargic.

They threatened to put her on an intravenous drip to rehydrate her and give her some nourishment unless she started eating.

She has since managed to get a little food down, but doctors are closely monitoring her.”

You know that trick parents use to give their babies medicine by hiding pills in their food? They can do that for Paris Hilton. Just hide a lot of veggies in a cup of spunk. You’d be amazed at how quickly it goes down.

Note: The Sun also says Jack Osbourne slept with Paris Hilton. Besides people who still value their dignity, who hasn’t?