Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton needs to be on the lookout for a new threat because the Lynwood Correction Facility where she’s staying is full of staph infection. With over 402 inmates treated last year, the bacteria is said to infect 13 out of every 1,000 inmates and is resistant to the first line of antibiotics. However, as long as Paris maintains good personal hygiene, there should be no problem. And even if she does become infected, don’t think her current stds will stand idly by while a stranger invades their territory. It’ll be like that movie 300. Except, in this case, it’ll be called 3,000 and will be slightly less gay.