Two random guys pretending to be Rumer Willis’ bodyguards — no, really — attacked a photographer outside the ESPY afterparty. The beating left him unconscious and convulsing after one of the assailants tripped the photog and then took him by the head and slammed him into the ground. TMZ has tape of the aftermath. Cops later came and arrested the attacker. The photog was left with three cracked ribs, a concussion and a dislocated shoulder.

In the video, another photog tried to help his buddy out, but there wasn’t much to do. If you watch the douche attacker try to fight him, he simply flails his arms around like a little girl. It figures that this guy would need to cheap shot people. If you ever got into a real fight, one on one, with this guy, he’d probably give you the pawing of a lifetime. Past victims have described it as being beaten with soft, puffy clouds.