Britney Spears

A source says Daimon Shippen, Britney’s bodyguard and manny, are not dating and his relationship with her is purely professional. Daimon is “tickled” (seriously? tickled?) by the attention from the media, but just wants to focus on taking care of Britney and the kids. He also helped Britney out in the past. People says,

Shippen, the source confirms, was indeed the mustachioed security guard who helped catch Spears’s son Sean Preston when the singer stumbled in New York in May 2006. At the time, Shippen was working for a security firm.

By now, Britney must be getting desperate. Every day she looks in the mirror she realizes the chances of finding a decent man diminish. So what can Britney do? For one, she can take those Oscar Meyer Weiners out of her pocket, reseal those packages of Twinkies and wipe the cookie crumbs off her chins. Then, she can change out of her spaghetti stained shirt and participate in a fun activity like speed dating or running through traffic.