I thought I’d do a little end of the week recap because maybe you haven’t been coming here every day like you should. For that, you should be ashamed of yourself. Go ahead, punish yourself. There, doesn’t that feel better? Now that I’ve finished teaching you a lesson, let’s begin the incredible journey down my pants.

Oh, right, recap. Paris, Lindsay and Britney are still good for nothing idiots and make Elmer Fudd look like Einstein. Aaron Eckhart likes to put clothespins on his balls. Hayden Panettiere finally showed up in a bikini. So did Mandy Moore and Jack Nicholson still gets chicks even if his body is 80% loose skin. Some other stuff happened, but I’m really lazy, so go check these out.

  • UseMyComputer: Christina Ricci is a little alien.
  • Celebitchy: Naomi Watts is about to explode.
  • About: James Blunt tried to sell his sister on eBay.
  • Horny Oyster: Elena Santarelli is pretty.
  • College Humor: Stop motion baby. I was waiting for him to fall on his head. Never happened.
  • Toxic Mag: Victoria Beckham does W
  • CelebWorm: Get Smart has a trailer. (Site maybe NSFW)
  • HB: Brooke Hogan shows off her new boobs on stage
  • College Humor: A kitty eating corn because I want you to think I’m not just filled with rage.
  • CS: K-Fed has a new GF.
  • SOW: Jessica Alba does an impromptu promo for that movie with Dane Cook.
  • AB: Quentin Tarantino loves sucking toes.
  • TFT: Kelly Brook runs around in a bikini on GQ again. (Site NSFW)
  • TC: Elizabeth Hurly and her boobs.