Madonna

During a PETA benefit show in Norfolk, Virginia, Morrissey criticized Madonna accusing her of Angelina Jolie nut-huggery. Wait, Angelina doesn’t have nuts. Ovary-huggery? He told the audience,

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she made that African boy she adopted into a coat and wore him for 15 minutes, then threw it away,” presumably blasting the trendy singer for hopping on the Angelina bandwagon by adopting 21-month old David Banda from Malawi last year.

Madonna’s reps fired back,

“In an attempt to trash Madonna, he revealed himself,” a rep for the singer fired back exclusively to Usmagazine.com. “What kind of a person could even call up such imagery and words?”

I’ll tell you what kind of person. The kind of person who should be writing for this site. Morrissey, you’ve captured my heart, but alas, you can never capture my soul. Although, I will say this in Madonna’s defense. You can’t use African babies as coats. Try American babies. They’re better fed and therefore, make much better coats. Their kidneys are worth a lot too.