Ashlee Simpson Pete Wentz

Last weekend in Chicago, Pete Wentz, with Ashlee Simpson in tow, stopped by Blender Sessions at the Hard Rock to help Crobar Chicago co-owner, Mike Matushcka, celebrate his 40th. For some strange reason, female fans wanted to take pictures with Pete Wentz. Understandably jealous of said women, Ashlee Simpson wouldn’t let any of them come between her and her “man”. A friend said Ashley “got whiny and dragged him away.”

I’d be worried too if I was Ashlee. If I was with her, God forbid, a girl could wave to me and I’d sleep with her in the blink of an eye. She wouldn’t even have to be waving to me. She could be waving to her friend standing behind me. A little awkward at that point, but still. As an added bonus, I don’t even cry after sex. Not any more, at least.