Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera is assumed to be over a month pregnant now. However, unlike normal pregnant chicks who grow a monster belly and breasts, Christina Aguilera only grows monster breasts. Huh?

I hate this Jordan Bratman guy. This monkey man must have been Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln in his past life because, at this point, things have gone way past unfair. Regular guys get a girl pregnant and half their paycheck disappears every month. Jordan plants his seed in Christina and… ONLY HER BOOBS GET BIGGER. What the hell is this? But, life has to balance out this injustice somehow, so, I predict Christina gives birth to a rat. If she doesn’t, I’m going to go over and draw rat whiskers on the kid. What do you mean they’ll look even cuter. Arrrgh! Forget it. I’ll just kick Jordan Bratman in the nuts. Repeatedly.

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