Lily Allen

To avoid the paparazzi after leaving London club Punk last night, Lily Allen hopped into a plastic bag which her friends had to carry 50 yards to her car. No, really. 150 feet for those of you too lazy to do the math. That’s half a football field. She’s like some sort of cartoon slave driver. Pretty soon she’ll be hitting people in the face with a frying pan. If my friend asked me to carry their ass in an over-sized plastic bag, I’d carry them all the way to the pier and dump them. Have fun swimming in the dark, jerk.