Louis Vuitton hates Lindsay Lohan

Previously believed to be the new face of Louis Vuitton, the luxury line now won’t even let Lindsay Lohan borrow clothes. For the LV sponsored Elle photo shoot, the clepto took anything she could get her hands on.

“Louis Vuitton had sent over some samples for her to wear in the shoot,” said a snitch. “Lindsay, kept shoving the clothes into her bag, and a stylist’s assistant kept getting them out of the bag, only to have Lindsay keep trying to take them. She ended up walking off with a very expensive shirt and some other items – which screwed Louis Vuitton because they were set to go to Vogue, W and Harper’s Bazaar for other shoots. They were furious and kept trying to get their clothes back, but . . . Lindsay walked out with them and never returned calls.”

I have a good method for teaching Lindsay stealing is wrong. Caning. Every time you see her reaching to steal. Cane her. In fact, every time you see her, cane her. She’ll start wondering why she’s being randomly smacked with a big fat stick every day. Pretty soon even the sound of a bird chirping will make her cower in fear. Why were we caning her again? Eh, I don’t know, but this idea sounds promising.