Paris leaves, Diaz whines

Wanting to get away from the paparazzi and gawkers, Paris Hilton has sold her Spanish-style 1920’s Hollywood home in only 10 days for $4.25 million. Her neighbors, who spent a day in hell when Paris was under house arrest, are relieved to say the least. No one asked, but Cameron Diaz, who lives nearby (pfft, yea right, probably in the next county), voiced her opinion anyway.

“There were 10 helicopters above her house, which I live not too far from. I was like, ‘Could you please keep it down?’ We all suffer when Paris suffers,” Diaz said.

The reporter begrudgingly thanked Cameron for her useless input and attempted an escape only to find Diaz was unwilling to let go of the microphone. As a relentless tug of war ensued, Cameron Diaz shouted, “You want soundbites? I can give you soundbites! Listen. Listen. Wait! Oh God, please. Put me on TV.”