Pete Doherty court

Pete Doherty’s cat Dinger, slang for syringe, recently gave birth to a litter of five. One of the cats became sick and was taken to the vet. While under observation, they found traces of cocaine in the kitten’s system.

An RSPCA spokesman told the Daily Star: “It is a police matter, so we cannot deny or confirm the identity of the man who had this kitten removed. But it is very important to protect animals from substances that can do them serious harm.”

Whatever. When did the RSPCA start caring about pussies. Do they think they can police the whole world or something? Don’t get me wrong, it sounds like a cool gig and all, but let’s face facts. You can’t inspect them all. Wait, I forgot. We’re talking about women’s vaginas right? Real kittens?! THAT BASTARD!