Britney Spears

Page Six has a laundry list of reasons as to why Britney Spears’ VMA performance was so sucktastic. Firstly, Britney Spears was late to rehearsals. She arrived in Vegas at 4:30 p.m. when she was supposed to be there at 1:00 p.m. Upon arrival, she went to her hotel room and ordered the prerequisite food and margaritas. She finally showed up at rehearsals with a drink in her hand. I’m too lazy to type the rest. I’ll just quote Page Six.

When Spears preformed on Sunday, she stumbled a couple times and couldn’t remember the words she was lip-syncing. She covered her mouth at one point but by the end of the song had simply given up any pretense of singing.

“The dance number was spectacular – without her,” said our spy at rehearsal. “When the stand-in was rehearsing with the dancers, in the hours they were all waiting for her, it was amazing. Then Britney showed up and refused to do anything. The dancers were supposed to lift and twirl her in the air a few times, and that just wasn’t going to happen. The more complicated dance moves had to be erased because she couldn’t do them.”

Meanwhile, Spears was agitated because she didn’t like the outfit MTV had selected for her.

“MTV wanted her to wear a corset outfit. It would have looked great and covered a lot of things up, but she hated it and didn’t think it was sexy enough.”

Instead, Spears changed into a spangly bra-and-underwear outfit she’d brought with her that emphasized her weight gain over the last year.

MTV execs weren’t the only ones worried about Spears’ impending debacle. Another spy said, “The dancers were texting pals, asking them to pray for them. They were worried.”

After Spears performed at the VMAs, she allegedly broke down in tears but then partied until 3 a.m. She changed outfits several times and again was photographed by paparazzi wearing no underwear.

I actually liked the performance she gave. I’ve never actually seen someone’s career die right before my eyes. I was intrigued. I also enjoy watching tubby chicks stumble around trying to dance and sing at the same time. She was like a drunk elephant in a field of mice.