Christina Aguilera

If you’re not the slightest bit disturbed by these photos, then you’re weirder than I. Before, Christina Aguilera could paint her face like a whored up clown and get away with it because her huge boobs and non-pregnant body hid the fact that she was going to an audition for Ringling Bros. Now that she’s “with child,” this is just weird. Any fantasy I had with her has withered away like my genitals after watching Britney Spears bend over naked. Christina somehow morphed from a hot midget to one of the creepiest pregnant women I’ve ever seen.

God. It looks like she shellacked her makeup on. It has to be seeping into the amniotic sack by now. The doctors are going to be creeped out when Stephen King’s IT slides out of her uterus. I think they should keep a bat by the delivery table. Just in case they want to play baseball or to beat the baby.

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