Heidi Montag

Us Weekly interviewed Heidi Montag from The Hills, a reality show about nature’s hemorrhoids, and confirmed that, indeed, very little lies behind that vacant, doll-like, stare. Heidi goes through a myriad of reasons on why she chose to enhance her breasts and fix her nose. Reasons such as, “I was teased,” “I had less than A-cups,” “I get jealous of other girls,” “My nose is too big,” “Boys like me now,” “Bigger boobs = more attention = better life,” “E=mc2,” and “I like apples.” In fact, Heidi was willing to die for her new boobs.

Right before I went in, I was like, What if I don’t wake up? Oh, this is scary. Then I thought, I don’t care. If I don’t wake up, it’s worth it. I just wanted it so badly.”

I guess she follows the old saying, “Die young. Leave a good looking corpse with big tits.” I follow the saying, “Hand jobs are not just as good as bj’s. No. I’m pretty sure I already paid you.”

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