Lindsay Lohan loves sex

Star Magazine reports Lindsay Lohan will not stop fantasizing about her ex-boyfriends in rehab. A source says,

‘She’s been having erotic dreams about her former lovers, like Calum Best, Wilmer Valderrama, and Jared Leto.’

Everyone seems to think Lohan is substituting her addictions when in fact she’s just a whore. Lindsay also says she plans to quit Hollywood. I’m not sure how that works. She supposedly told her dad,

“Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been addicted to drugs but please believe me I will never do drugs again. I hate Hollywood and I don’t want to work there. I need a break and I am moving away. I will stop hanging around with the people that are bad for me.”

That sounds like a fake quote and maybe it is. We’ll never know. The one thing we do know is that there’s a party and it’s in my pants.