Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O’Donnell found time to transition from writing nonsense on her blog to writing nonsense in a book. Her new memoir, Celebrity Detox, set for release in October, talks about her life or something. Most notably, she writes of her tumultuous stint on The View and suggests Barbara Walters retire.

“Barbara Walters is almost twice my age. At some point it becomes necessary to step back. Everyone has to go. Going is part of the gig.”

“I would be less-than-honest if I were to say that there is no trouble between Barbara and I. I mean, our differences are obvious.”

O’Donnell writes that during commercial breaks on The View, audience members would sometimes shout out, “I love you, Rosie” — “and Barbara politely tells them in a schoolteacher tone, ‘It is impolite to say I love you to one person when there are four of us up here.’ “

Whatever. Rosie telling Barbara Walters to quit is laughable. I’d rather listen to Barbara describe how she performed oral on Thomas Jefferson than listen to the verbal diarrhea that comes out of Rosie’s mouth. No one really loves this angry lesbian. It’s all an act. People feed Rosie’s ego because they don’t want to be eaten. Nobody wants to be just another statistic.