Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise was recently granted permission by the German government to film Valkyrie in Berlin only if Germany was portrayed in a positive light. Thrilled, Tom decided that they should take a moment of silence to honor the anti-Nazi heroes. However, the silence was broken when a soon to be fired crew member let one rip.

“The film’s director Bryan Singer, the screenplay writer Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise asked us all to observe a moment’s silence shortly before we started filming.”

A source on the set added to Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “Fortunately the mystery gassy man didn’t completely ruin the touching gesture.

“Quite rightly, Tom is furious. We were filming at the Bendler Block in Germany where the anti-Nazis were executed.”

I think people should fart at inopportune moments more often. It’ll lighten the mood. During your friend’s wedding vows? Fart. At a funeral? Fart. Job interview? Fart. Doctor says you have cancer? Fart. Police are questioning you about all that blood in your trunk? Fart. In an elevator? Silent, but deadly fart.