Tommy Lee

At Dune in the Hamptons, Tommy Lee hooked up with a blond girl and started fucking her on the banquette in front of everyone. But, don’t worry. He asked for permission first.

“When Tommy walked in, he asked, ‘Is it cool to have sex in here?’ The hostess thought he was kidding, but . . . then he just went to town with this girl. We were trying not to pay attention because it was so disgusting.”

What would have been mean is if Page Six didn’t put a picture of Tommy Lee up and made the story more vague. Then everyone could assume they were talking about Tommy Lee Jones. Then, instead of being moderately disgusted, I would be wrapped up in a blanket, shivering in the corner, clutching a cross and trying to figure out how to wash my brain with bleach.