Brad Pitt

In next week’s issue of Parade, find it in your local newspaper between the Rite Aid and Best Buy ads, Brad Pitt is offended when people say he’s only charitable because of Angelina Jolie.

“That’s idiotic,” he says. “I do it because I’m a member of the human race.”

Is that some sort of underhanded remark? Way to make me feel bad about yesterday, Brad. But, maybe I stole that homeless kid’s change cup out of necessity. Did that thought ever cross your mind? Maybe I had a real strong craving for a Big Mac and maybe I didn’t feel like breaking my $100 bill. Yea, feeling pretty embarrassed right about now, aren’t you Bradley? Sigh. It’s alright though. Since I’m physically and mentally a much bigger man than you, you’re forgiven.