Britney Spears

K-Fed’s lawyer held an emergency hearing yesterday which resulted in Britney Spears losing all visitation rights until she complies with all court orders. The suspension comes as a result of Britney not providing the drug test people with contact information so they could perform the random tests. Hint to the drug testers: She’s at a place that starts with Star and ends with Bucks.

“Petitioner’s (Britney’s) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending Petitioner’s compliance with the court orders.”

What are those medieval slingshots called that soldiers would load up with boulders to shoot into castles? Yea, catapults, that’s it. We should put SPF and JJ in catapults and fling them into the ocean for them to be raised by dolphins. They’re one of the world’s most intelligent animals. 9 times out of 10 they’ll score higher on an IQ test than Britney and K-Fed combined. Sure, the kids might drown 1 minute after landing in the water, but the odds of them having a better life are significantly higher than if they were to be raised by Britney or K-Fed. It’s a chance I’m willing to take.

Here’s Britney wearing a “Fuck Off Lover Boy” jacket with a frappucino on standby.

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