Charlize Theron is the sexiest woman alive

According to Esquire Magazine, Charlize Theron is the sexiest woman alive this year. An interview in the form of a script accompanies a spread of Charlize on the website. I couldn’t make it through the whole thing because… why? Here’s a snippet.

CHARLIZE laughs, a guttural laugh, and her head falls back, exposing her neck to the world with a kind of joy. It is so…long.

That’s some powerful stuff right there. I’ve always wondered whether anyone would ever provide an accurate description of Charlize Theron’s neck. Thank you my friend. You have made my day. May I repay you in equal kindness? A punch in the throat perhaps? How about I push you in front of a car and steal your wallet. Lunch at the Chateau Marmont. On you.