Evidence #402 that The Hills is fake

Best Week Ever published an interview with a guy named Gavin who went on a date with LC from The Hills. Since I don’t watch this show, I don’t understand half of the “drama” going on, but it sounded interesting and I learned Lauren Conrad is odorless. Score!

That’s insane. So was your whole experience on the show like that?
Absolutely, from the very beginning. Like, they totally set up the BBQ scene for Brody and I to meet each other and talk because, as they said, “the audience would get a kick out of seeing ‘the ex’ talking to ‘the new guy’.” So they rent this house in Malibu for a set, bought a bunch of food and drinks, and just filmed us hanging out. Brody would talk all this sh*t, then be like, “Sorry about that, we’re just trying to make good television.” Like at one point, some other dude walked up to us while we were talking, and Brody goes, “We’re trying to film a scene here. Do you mind?”, like he’s interrupting our lines. Haha, it was some of the best acting I’ve ever done.

So the big date with Lauren. What did you two actually talk about for the hours and hours you spent together that we didn’t see on the show?
I honestly had a really hard time talking to her – she’s kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface. She talked about how mean Perez Hilton was, and how you have to be nice to the Paparazzi so they don’t release the uglier pictures of you. I don’t know — pop culture, Red Bull, stuff like that. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn’t allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can’t.

Is there anything else you’d like us to know?
Well, this is sort of silly, but I ordered that Salmon Roll for myself and Lauren said she would like to try a piece, so of course MTV edited the scene to make it look like I’m force-feeding her the salmon that she hates, which I would never do on a date. Also, I guess people should just try to remember that this is all entertainment, and just as I’m not the boring dork they made me out to be, Lauren and the other people on the show are sometimes capable of being nice, decent, funny people. Except for Spencer, I hear he’s really like that.

OMG WTF The Hills is scripted. Sound the alarm. Text your friends. They might want to sit down because what they’re about to read will shock them. When you show them this interview they’ll be like, “ROFL PWND!” You’ll give each other LULZ on AIM for about 2 hours before relenting and discussing what Brody meant when he said Gavin was “too perfect.” If this actually happens, let me know so I can go over to your place and club you over the head.