Jennifer Lopez is probably pregnant

During a recent concert, a fan kept blowing under Jennifer Lopez’s dress, revealing her baby bump. Now, Page Six says Jennifer Lopez is set to announce her pregnancy in her hometown at Saturday’s concert at Madison Square Garden. Scientists around the world are said to be on the edge of their seats, eager to discover if interspecies breeding is a viable option.

A spy at her concert in Connecticut Wednesday night told us, “a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, and a definitive baby bump was there. She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly.”

Does this mean Scientology works? My God, I never thought this day would come. The crazy Tom Cruise religion has been vindicated. Quick, fashion me a hat made of tinfoil ASAP and spare no expense on the tinfoil.