Lindsay Lohan has been released

People reports Lindsay Lohan has checked out of Cirque Lodge Treatment Center in Utah. Lindsay has been having sex in the bathrooms there since August 2007. I hear Cirque is going to engrave that on a golden plaque and proudly display it above their entrance. Today, she left with her father, Michael Lohan.

“She’s finished the program,” one source says. “Lindsay is done, but she may come back for outpatient treatment. She over-extended her stay because she wanted to. She could have been out awhile ago, but she chose to stay.”

Lindsay already has a tango-themed movie lined up and, despite rumors to the contrary, was able to be insured. Some people say things are looking up for Lindsay. Probably because she’s always on her back. Zing!