Yesterday on this show called Dancing With the Stars, some chick named Marie Osmond crumpled to the ground during the comments from the judges. They say she fainted, but quickly regained consciousness when they went to a commercial break. After regaining her composure, all the judges grave her 7 out of 10.

Osmond explained on-air that “once in a while that happens to me when I get winded. I stop breathing.” She punctuated her remark with a giggle. She was expected to undergo a medical examination as a precaution, ABC’s Astley said.

You fool. You’ve given Britney an excuse not to dance. Now Britney’s going to say if she does anything more demanding than swaying back and forth she’ll faint. Man, and I was so looking forward to watching that manatee writhe around on stage. She’d have been as graceful as an elephant on stilts. Wait a minute. How did a post about Marie Osmond fainting turn into a post about Britney being a fatty. Eh, whatever.