Tara Reid probably has brain damage

Tara Reid explained to FHMOnline how much better she is than Paris and Lindsay. Unlike those dumb broads, Tara has class and plays by the rules.

So you did do a lot of partying?
Everyone does, but you’ll never read a story about me going out and partying when I’m supposed to be working, showing up on a set drunk or missing a day, never. But when I’m not working why shouldn’t I have fun? Am I supposed to stay at home and live in a cage? I like to have fun and have people around me. I think the reason I never ended up in as much trouble as Paris or Lindsay [Lohan] is that I’m not stupid, so I’d never do a lot of the things those girls do, and I’ve always had good friends around me.

So they are stupid?
Yeah. Like, Lindsay makes $15 million a movie, so why doesn’t she have a driver? I don’t get it. If you get drunk, that’s fine, but don’t drive. They need to straighten up a little bit and make better investments. And they should surround themselves with better people who don’t let them get themselves in trouble.

What Frankentits doesn’t tell you is that it’s pretty hard to show up to work drunk when you’re unemployed. Tara Reid would have a better career as a spokesperson against back alley plastic surgery than as an actress. She could go to high schools and talk about why you shouldn’t trust your body to a guy who uses a steak knife for a scalpel. Then she can show everyone exhibit A, her chest. You’ll know her lecture made a real impact when little Timmy can no longer look at a pair of breasts without quietly sobbing.