Akon

Akon has been charged with endangering the welfare of a minor and second degree harassment for tossing a 15-year-old kid off the stage and onto the head of a girl in June. The girl said she suffered a concussion from the incident. This was all because the kid threw a pretzel on stage and I guess that really set Akon off. Akon despises pretzels.

The boy landed on Abby Rosa, who told the Poughkeepsie Journal she was later found to have a concussion. She said she has hired a lawyer and spoken to Fishkill police.

The singer’s Manhattan lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, released a statement a few days after the June 3 concert at Dutchess Stadium saying there was no basis for criminal charges. A call to his office Thursday evening wasn’t immediately returned.

Akon is great. He tosses people around with no regard for public safety like a caveman. Sounds like an awesome hobby. How do you train for this? Do you start by throwing babies and move up to pre-schoolers and then middle schoolers? I can already toss a newborn infant 40 feet. Should I move to the next level? Inquiring minds want to know.

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