Britney Spears

Here’s Britney in her backyard drinking, smoking and cleaning her glass door. There’s a wet spot on the mat when she leaves which I assume is either from puking or from the buckets of sweat that poured down her body as her arms struggled to make a circular motion on the glass.

In other Britney news, the pop princess has been ordered to pay $120,000 of Kevin Federline’s $160,000 worth of attorney fees. TMZ obtained a court document that stated K-Fed is a “self-employed as a performing artist” and “he doesn’t earn any income.” It is unclear how long it took the guy who drafted the document to recover from hysterical laughter. Examining the spittle pattern on the paper puts it at 10 minutes. What exactly will Kevin do for money anyway? There’s not a lot of demand for wannabe rappers these days. Not even for parodies. It’s a sad day when you can’t even play a mockery of yourself. A sad day indeed. Let us bow our heads and pay respect to a career that never was.

Britney Spears chills in the backyardBritney Spears chills in the backyardBritney Spears chills in the backyardBritney Spears chills in the backyard