Lauren Conrad is a sailor, yarr

The prize for this year’s most awkward costume goes to Lauren Conrad who dressed up as a sailor. Her outfit says “I’m into anal,” but her eyes say, “My skirt is too short. I think people can see my butt. I feel uncomfortable. I think have diarrhea. No. I KNOW I have diarrhea.” Don’t feel too bad Lauren. Not everyone can pull off “Sexy Sailor”. Unless you’re me. I can pull anything off. Even “Sexy Used Tampon”. Boy can I do a mean sexy used tampon!