Madonna’s 11-year-old daughter was at the premiere of Fred Claus last night and that’s pretty much the only nice thing I can say about her right now. She looks like a Photoshop from Conan O’Brien’s “If They Mated” skit. I’m pretty sure if you cut her hair short and wax her unibrow, she’d be the most popular kid in school because she’d be the only 11-year-old able to buy alcohol without an id. You sure she’s not a dude or possibly a caveman? Maybe by “born 11 years ago” they meant “thawed out 11 years ago.”