Carrie Underwood

You know, I’ve never listened to country music. But if they all look like this, I think I’ll start. Your dress though. It does not accentuate the bosom. And where’s your cowboy hat? Don’t all y’all wear them cowboy hats? Don’t matter none. Y’all look alike anyway. Where is you from? Georgia? Arkansas?

Ahh, the CMAS. The only awards show where you valet park your horse. I tried to attend, but they wouldn’t park my pony. They asked me why I was hopping around with a mop between my legs. Imbeciles! Don’t worry Jangles, one day they’ll let us in. One day… — Captain Swarthy

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