Britney Spears

After shopping for lamps, Britney Spears planned on attending the Maxim sponsored party for the release of Ubisoft’s newest video game, Assassin’s Creed, at club Opera. But, before Britney could make her appearance, her friend informed her she was no longer on Maxim’s top 100 list and instead was on Maxim’s list of unsexy people. The source said they told her this to avoid a complete meltdown in the club when she found out. OK! writes,

According to a pal of the pop star, despite the fact that she wasn’t on the invite list, “Brit started saying that Maxim had always been so good to her in the past and she didn’t want to miss anything fun.” Well, that’s when she was informed that not only had she not made the cut of the magazine’s most recent “Hot 100” list, the new issue of Maxim actually labeled, along with Madonna, Amy Winehouse, Sandra Oh and Sarah Jessica Parker, one the five most “unsexy” women on the planet.

As one can imagine, Brit didn’t take this news well. “She started to pout and her eyes were filling up with tears. She had no idea there was such a thing as an Unsexy list and it came as a pretty big shock.”

Bwahahhaha! Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. It would have been real awkward if Britney showed up. The room would be so silent you could hear the “thump, thump, thump,” of Britney’s earth shattering footsteps as she lumbered over to the refreshments. Her face would have turned white with terror as someone told her that everyone knows she’s on Maxim’s list of unsexy people along with that horse girl. Tears would stream from her face as she stuffed as many finger sandwiches and cookies into her purse as she could before running out and crumpling in the street from either sheer embarrassment or acid reflux. Yea, real awkward, but also real awesome.