My penis causes Kate Hudson to faint

Kate Hudson just might be the world’s most perfect woman. Smooth, white skin. Soft features. Bubbly personality. Tight body.

Unfortunately, her kid gets in the way. Trust me. Have you ever been making sweet love with a woman, screaming like banshees and her kid walks in? So not cool. Especially when they start comparing your penis to daddy’s. Very uncomfortable. Who wants to hear that? - Captain Swarthy