Tara Reid

Promising bondage beds, latex, pornstars, erotic dancers and a booty bar, the flyer for this year’s Hookers Ball in Darwin is, for the most part, perfect. However, there are a few issues I have with it.

  1. Tara Reid is a special guest. How sad is it that only Tara Reid was available?
  2. They have to remind people that she was the star of American Pie and that everyone should quietly erase from memory her roles in Van Wilder, Josie and the Pussycats, American Pie 2, My Boss’ Daughter, Alone in the Dark and other abominations in movie making.
  3. Tara Reid is an A-lister. Maybe their finger slipped off the “D” key?
  4. They photoshopped out her gnarly stomach. Are you guys crazy? That would have been a key selling point.
  5. Tara Reid is a special guest. I thought that was worth mentioning again.

Did you know Tara Reid may also be competing in a wet t-shirt contest? Guests will be in for a treat when her water soaked white tee begins to reveal two terrifyingly freaky breasts rife with surgery scars. Who will puke first? My bet’s on the girl in the green dress who’s only taken two tequila shots and is already drunkenly explaining to her friends why she had to use the urinal in the women’s restroom.

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