Ashlee Simpson

Reunited and it feels so good. Ashlee Simpson was recently introduced to her long-lost older sister, Mildred Simpson. She was found dancing in a traveling vaudeville show in the deep, deep dirty South. Father Joe now has plans to mention her breasts a hundred times in interviews and produce her own reality show on the Oxygen network.

Dressed in Versace, Mildred was brought to New York City for the CosmoGirl! Born to Lead Awards. Ashley gamely posed with her, but complained that she smelled like menthol. When asked if she had ever seen the Newlyweds on tv, Mildred replied, “TV?” – CS

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