“You’re not a pop star with a #1 album”

Britney’s lawyers must love holes because they’re digging a big one. This morning, K-Fed’s lawyer told the judge that Britney’s visitation rights should be modified because she does not respond to the drug testing facility when they call. People reports she’s only taken 8 out of 14 drug tests. In response, Britney’s lawyer said this was unconstitutional and told the judge he doesn’t know what it’s like to be Britney. TMZ reports,

High-powered lawyer Anne Kiley, who reps Brit, told the judge her client has received calls as early as 8:00 AM. Kiley said pop stars don’t get up that early, adding, “You are not a pop star with a number one album, so you don’t know.” The courtroom erupted in laughter.

First of all, Britney doesn’t have the number one album, The Eagles do. Second of all, Anne Kiley is right. Judge no-name doesn’t know what it’s like to live the life of a pop princess. He doesn’t know the strength it takes to get a full 12 hours of sleep without rolling onto your stomach and accidentally suffocating yourself. He doesn’t know the courage it takes to wake up at 12 p.m. and face the world. The commitment it takes to go lamp shopping or get collagen injected in your lips. The determination it takes to polish off an 8 piece KFC original recipe bucket in under 6 minutes. How many painful hours of practice it took Britney to learn to open her throat so she could swallow without chewing. None of this. This judge is just ignorant. Where did he learn to judge? At the Devry Institute of Judging?

Here’s Britney buying a new 600HP Mercedes SL 65 AMG. Little Orphan Annie said it best, “It’s a hard knock life for us.” Us meaning Britney and me. You guys wouldn’t understand.